The people who become the calmest adults are almost never the ones who had calm childhoods. They're the ones who grew up in houses where someone else's mood was the weather, and they learned to regulate the entire room before they ever learned to regulate themselves. - Silicon Canals

The people who become the calmest adults are almost never the ones who had calm childhoods. They're the ones who grew up in houses where someone else's mood was the weather, and they learned to regulate the entire room before they ever learned to regulate themselves. - Silicon Canals

Briefly

"The conventional wisdom says that chaotic childhoods produce chaotic adults. That growing up in emotional turbulence leaves you turbulent. The research on adverse childhood experiences broadly supports this: systematic reviews have found consistent links between childhood adversity and major depressive disorder in adulthood."

"Children who grow up in emotionally unpredictable homes develop something that looks, from the outside, like preternatural calm. What it actually is: a nervous system that learned to scan, process, and respond to other people's emotions faster than most adults can manage."

"The child doesn't choose this skill. They acquire it the way someone acquires fluency in a second language by being dropped into a country where nobody speaks their first one. Survival does the teaching."