#becoming-baba

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Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
17 hours ago

There's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals

Emotional estrangement between fathers and children stems from generational differences in expressing love and vulnerability.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
9 hours ago

Psychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals

Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
14 hours ago

My Daughter Made an Honest Mistake While Babysitting Her Cousins. My Sister Is Taking It Too Far.

Beatrice should take responsibility for her actions and communicate with her aunt about the incident.
fromSlate Magazine
9 hours ago
Parenting

My Wife's Sister Dropped Her 1-Year-Old Twins With Us Due to a Family Emergency. When She Texted Us an Update, I Was Floored.

Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals

Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals

Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

7 Words Adult Children Say Before Cutting Off Parents

Disconnection often begins quietly, with feelings of not being understood leading to significant relationship breakdowns.
Parenting
fromDefector
3 days ago

Rejoice, Tired Parents! Defector Will Raise Your Children Now | Defector

Defector launches a parenting advice column called Minor Dilemmas to address various parenting challenges and questions.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
14 hours ago

My Daughter Made an Honest Mistake While Babysitting Her Cousins. My Sister Is Taking It Too Far.

Beatrice should take responsibility for her actions and communicate with her aunt about the incident.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
9 hours ago

My Wife's Sister Dropped Her 1-Year-Old Twins With Us Due to a Family Emergency. When She Texted Us an Update, I Was Floored.

Renata's manipulative behavior has destroyed trust, justifying a refusal to provide future childcare.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals

Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals

Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

7 Words Adult Children Say Before Cutting Off Parents

Disconnection often begins quietly, with feelings of not being understood leading to significant relationship breakdowns.
Parenting
fromDefector
3 days ago

Rejoice, Tired Parents! Defector Will Raise Your Children Now | Defector

Defector launches a parenting advice column called Minor Dilemmas to address various parenting challenges and questions.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

Start Strong But Never Finish? 4 Causes and 4 Solutions

Starting strong and quitting is common due to tedium, poor planning, and discouragement; recognizing patterns and seeking support can help overcome this.
#emotional-health
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Tough it out' was the only emotional instruction a whole generation of men ever received - and now they're sitting in retirement wondering why their body aches and nobody calls - Silicon Canals

Retirement brings a realization of emotional neglect and the need for deeper connections among men.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I grew up in the 1970s and the closest thing I had to therapy was my uncle telling me to 'walk it off' after I broke my collarbone - and that phrase became my entire emotional philosophy for the next fifty years - Silicon Canals

Some emotional wounds cannot be healed by simply ignoring them; they require acknowledgment and processing.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Tough it out' was the only emotional instruction a whole generation of men ever received - and now they're sitting in retirement wondering why their body aches and nobody calls - Silicon Canals

Retirement brings a realization of emotional neglect and the need for deeper connections among men.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I grew up in the 1970s and the closest thing I had to therapy was my uncle telling me to 'walk it off' after I broke my collarbone - and that phrase became my entire emotional philosophy for the next fifty years - Silicon Canals

Some emotional wounds cannot be healed by simply ignoring them; they require acknowledgment and processing.
NYC parents
fromBig Think
4 days ago

The quiet disappearance of the free-range childhood

Child protective services investigated a couple after their son rode his scooter to a nearby playground alone, leading to a finding of neglect.
Brooklyn
fromConde Nast Traveler
5 days ago

My Dad Can't Travel Like He Used to, but Slowing Down Doesn't Mean Stopping

A journey through Indonesia showcases the challenges and joys of traveling with a parent facing mobility issues.
Education
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

Building Perseverance: How to Raise Children Who Stick with It

Children's lack of follow-through is often due to underdeveloped perseverance skills, not laziness or lack of intelligence.
#masculinity
Right-wing politics
fromThe New Yorker
5 days ago

The Camps Promising to Turn You-or Your Son-Into an Alpha Male

Nick Adams promotes a vision of masculinity that appeals to young men, emphasizing traditional male roles and rejecting notions of toxic masculinity.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

There is a specific kind of masculinity that comes not from dominance but from integrity, calmness, and emotional steadiness - they make others feel safe - Silicon Canals

True strength in masculinity is calm, steady, and emotionally safe, contrasting with loud, dominant behaviors often mistaken for confidence.
Right-wing politics
fromThe New Yorker
5 days ago

The Camps Promising to Turn You-or Your Son-Into an Alpha Male

Nick Adams promotes a vision of masculinity that appeals to young men, emphasizing traditional male roles and rejecting notions of toxic masculinity.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

There is a specific kind of masculinity that comes not from dominance but from integrity, calmness, and emotional steadiness - they make others feel safe - Silicon Canals

True strength in masculinity is calm, steady, and emotionally safe, contrasting with loud, dominant behaviors often mistaken for confidence.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
11 hours ago

Psychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals

Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
9 hours ago

Psychology says people who drop their friends as soon as they get into a new relationship aren't choosing love over friendship - they're revealing that the friendships were always filling a need the relationship now fills, and the difference between a friend and a placeholder is something most people only discover when the relationship arrives and the friends quietly disappear - Silicon Canals

Friendships often fade when one partner enters a romantic relationship, revealing the superficial nature of some connections.
Parenting
fromFast Company
1 day ago

Parents: A valuable source of AI intelligence

AI-assisted parenting tools are being developed by parents who understand the real challenges of childcare.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

Why Making Friends as an Adult With ADHD Can Feel So Hard

Adults with ADHD often find forming genuine friendships challenging due to neurological factors affecting attention and emotional intensity.
Philosophy
fromApaonline
5 days ago

Let Kids Be Kids? The Ethics of Maximizing Children's Talents

Children are increasingly pushed to maximize their athletic talent from a very young age, often at the expense of social and academic development.
NYC parents
fromwww.businessinsider.com
4 days ago

I started raising my grandson just a few months into my retirement. My wife and I want to give him a good life, but it's financially draining.

Martin Odum and his wife are raising their grandson Noah, who has spina bifida, after previously raising their granddaughter.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Children raised in the 1960s and 70s developed their resilience the same way muscle develops under resistance - not by being protected from the load but by being required to carry it, repeatedly, without assistance, until the carrying became the unremarkable default rather than the exceptional achievement - Silicon Canals

Independence and resilience were fostered in children of the '60s and '70s through unstructured play and learning from failure.
Education
fromPsychology Today
6 days ago

7 Words to Say When Your Child Shuts Down About School

Kids often shut down around schoolwork due to anxiety, and supportive communication can help them re-engage.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
13 hours ago

Children who were praised for being smart rather than for working hard often become adults who avoid challenges - not from laziness but from a deep fear of being found ordinary - Silicon Canals

Praising children for being 'smart' can hinder their growth mindset and willingness to take risks.
#family-dynamics
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
1 day ago

I Don't Let Anyone I Date Meet My Parents. That's Not a Red Flag. I Have a Very Good Reason Why.

Some individuals avoid introducing partners to difficult family members to protect them from negative experiences.
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago
Parenting

Did My Mom Really Love One of Us More Than the Other?

The favored child dynamic shifted dramatically during adolescence, leading to feelings of rebellion and alienation.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
1 day ago

I Don't Let Anyone I Date Meet My Parents. That's Not a Red Flag. I Have a Very Good Reason Why.

Some individuals avoid introducing partners to difficult family members to protect them from negative experiences.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

Did My Mom Really Love One of Us More Than the Other?

The favored child dynamic shifted dramatically during adolescence, leading to feelings of rebellion and alienation.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
20 hours ago

The most painful version of not belonging isn't being rejected by strangers. It's sitting at your own family's dinner table, surrounded by people who share your last name, and feeling like you're watching the evening through glass. - Silicon Canals

Belonging can exist alongside profound loneliness, where one feels unseen even in the presence of family and friends.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

9 subtle behaviors that reveal someone grew up in a household where money was discussed in whispers, and why those behaviors persist long after financial security has arrived - Silicon Canals

Financial behaviors are shaped by early experiences and trauma, not just knowledge or information gaps about money.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

The Day I Realized My Son Wasn't Defiant, He Was Ashamed

Understanding a child's emotional state is crucial; shame can manifest as feelings of worthlessness, impacting behavior and communication.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

I'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals

Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
3 days ago

Why Behavior Change Alone Won't Fix Your Relationship

Behavioral therapy changes observable actions, while emotionally focused therapy emphasizes emotional engagement for lasting relational change.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

I grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals

Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

Two Signs You're Raising a Hyper-Sensitive Child

Parenting requires understanding and support for emotionally sensitive children who may react more intensely to situations than their peers.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
1 day ago

I Told My Friend Some Private Things About My Wife. Now I'm in Big Trouble.

Maintaining long-term friendships can be challenging when past grievances affect perceptions in a marriage.
#child-development
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
2 days ago

Is Your Kid's Friend A Good Influence? Experts Share 6 Green Flags

Positive friendships build confidence and happiness in children, providing essential support throughout their development.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

People who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals

Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
2 days ago

Is Your Kid's Friend A Good Influence? Experts Share 6 Green Flags

Positive friendships build confidence and happiness in children, providing essential support throughout their development.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

People who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals

Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Most people don't realize that children who grow up without affection don't struggle with love as adults. They struggle with trusting it, because it never felt safe to depend on - Silicon Canals

Emotional unavailability stems from a lack of early affection, leading to difficulties in accepting love despite an inherent capacity for it.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

The most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals

The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
#fatherhood
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

What, Exactly, Expectant Dads Fear in the Delivery Room

Expectant fathers often experience fear of childbirth, feeling helpless in the delivery room despite their desire to support their partners.
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago
Parenting

Nobody talks about why men in their thirties who are about to become fathers suddenly start calling their own dad more often - it's not closeness, it's an audit, they're going through every memory trying to separate what to repeat from what to bury and the silence between the calls is where most of the work is happening - Silicon Canals

fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago
Parenting

9 things a truly good father does without ever needing to be asked-and most people only recognize them after he's gone - Silicon Canals

Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

What, Exactly, Expectant Dads Fear in the Delivery Room

Expectant fathers often experience fear of childbirth, feeling helpless in the delivery room despite their desire to support their partners.
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago
Parenting

Nobody talks about why men in their thirties who are about to become fathers suddenly start calling their own dad more often - it's not closeness, it's an audit, they're going through every memory trying to separate what to repeat from what to bury and the silence between the calls is where most of the work is happening - Silicon Canals

fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago
Parenting

9 things a truly good father does without ever needing to be asked-and most people only recognize them after he's gone - Silicon Canals

Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

Handedness in Children of Traumatized Mothers

Higher maternal post-traumatic stress during pregnancy is linked to increased mixed-handedness in children.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago

I grew up in a house where my father's mood determined the temperature of every room. I didn't realize until my thirties that I'd married someone whose moods I could predict because unpredictability was the one thing my nervous system refused to tolerate twice. - Silicon Canals

Children from emotionally volatile households become adept at reading emotions, which can negatively impact their adult relationships due to their need for emotional predictability.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
3 days ago

6 Types of Leadership and Parenting Styles: What's Yours?

Leadership styles in work and parenting vary, with a balanced approach being the most effective for clear expectations and support.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago

There's a version of clarity that only arrives in your 40s where you suddenly understand your father wasn't distant because he didn't care. He was performing certainty for thirty years and the exhaustion of never once saying 'I don't know' eventually made him unreachable. - Silicon Canals

Emotionally distant fathers often performed certainty to absorb household anxiety, which hollowed them out rather than reflecting lack of care or emotional capacity.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
2 weeks ago

My Needy Aunt Is Back in My Life. Now She's Got Her Eyes on My Daughter.

Navigating family relationships can be challenging, especially when expectations and memories differ between generations.
#family
Parenting
fromTravel + Leisure
3 days ago

I'm Child-Free by Choice-Here's What I Learned on My First Trip with a Baby

Luciana, nicknamed Peach, is cherished by her family, highlighting the joys of being an aunt and the choice to remain child-free.
fromBuzzFeed
2 months ago
Humor

People Are Sharing The 17 Family Habits That Felt Normal Growing Up (But Were Actually Weird)

Parenting
fromTravel + Leisure
3 days ago

I'm Child-Free by Choice-Here's What I Learned on My First Trip with a Baby

Luciana, nicknamed Peach, is cherished by her family, highlighting the joys of being an aunt and the choice to remain child-free.
fromBuzzFeed
2 months ago
Humor

People Are Sharing The 17 Family Habits That Felt Normal Growing Up (But Were Actually Weird)

Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

I raised my younger siblings more than I parented my own children because by the time I had kids I'd already used up something - a patience, a vigilance, a willingness to carry - that most new parents still have fresh. And nobody in my family has ever connected those two things. - Silicon Canals

Parentification—when children assume adult caregiving responsibilities prematurely—depletes emotional resources that affect their capacity for parenting their own children later in life.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

I raised my kids the way my father raised me - present for the big moments and missing for the small ones - and now I watch my son doing the same thing and don't know how to speak without saying everything at once - Silicon Canals

Generational patterns of prioritizing work over family relationships perpetuate through modeling, creating cycles that are difficult to break without conscious awareness and intervention.
Parenting
fromLGBTQ Nation
5 days ago

Adoption is a beautiful way to build a family. But it's not one-size-fits-all. - LGBTQ Nation

Adoption has various paths, each with unique processes, costs, and timelines, requiring thorough understanding before proceeding.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

My father grew up in the 1960s and he's the toughest man I know - not because he's never been broken, but because I have never once seen him stay broken, and the speed with which he gets back up has always looked to me less like strength and more like a man who was simply never taught that staying down was an option - Silicon Canals

Men of previous generations often lacked the emotional vocabulary to process grief, leading to a stoic facade in the face of loss.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
4 days ago

Parental Burnout Is a Social Problem, Not a Personal Failure

Parental burnout has reached unprecedented levels, with over 40% of parents feeling exhausted and overwhelmed daily.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
4 weeks ago

A Family Science Approach to Parenting

Modern parenting culture emphasizes achievement and comparison, creating emotional communication challenges that stem from broader social patterns of productivity and performance expectations.
fromMail Online
5 days ago

Having children DOESN'T make you happy, study claims

'These results do not support our hypothesis that parenthood is positively associated with hedonic wellbeing (levels of positive emotions) and life satisfaction,' the researchers, from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus, wrote.
Parenting
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago

Psychology says the reason your father never told you he was proud of you isn't that he wasn't - it's that his generation was taught that providing was the language of love, and he said it every day in ways you weren't listening for - Silicon Canals

Generational norms of emotional restraint can conceal consistent, practical care; recognizing everyday acts can reveal deep, nonverbal expressions of love and support.
Parenting
fromwww.theguardian.com
5 days ago

Most gen Z fathers in Australia believe it's solely their job to provide financially, research finds

Younger fathers often hold traditional views on gender roles, prioritizing financial provision over caregiving responsibilities.
Parenting
fromBuzzFeed
6 days ago

Women Are Getting Very, Very Honest About How Their Partner Changed After They Became A Mom

Postpartum experiences reveal varying partner behaviors, ranging from supportive to abusive.
#motherhood
Parenting
fromwww.businessinsider.com
6 days ago

When my daughter was born disabled, I had a hard time finding a Mom group that felt right for us

Building a support system is crucial for new mothers, especially when facing unexpected challenges like a child's disabilities.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

The Ecology of Motherhood

Motherhood mirrors ecological resilience, requiring acceptance of transformation and recovery through challenges akin to natural processes like fire and regeneration.
Parenting
fromwww.businessinsider.com
6 days ago

When my daughter was born disabled, I had a hard time finding a Mom group that felt right for us

Building a support system is crucial for new mothers, especially when facing unexpected challenges like a child's disabilities.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

The Ecology of Motherhood

Motherhood mirrors ecological resilience, requiring acceptance of transformation and recovery through challenges akin to natural processes like fire and regeneration.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

Dads Battle Flexibility Stigma and Outdated Media Portrayals

One in five fathers fear taking paternity leave due to job security concerns and societal perceptions.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

7 behavioral patterns people display when they were raised by a parent who loved them deeply but had no idea how to express it without criticism - Silicon Canals

Critical parents can love deeply yet struggle to express it without criticism, leading to complex emotional patterns in their children.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 weeks ago

A Secret That Some Mothers Will Never Tell

Mothers commonly experience love without liking their children, a stigmatized feeling kept secret due to idealized motherhood expectations that deny natural ambivalence.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 weeks ago

Loving Your Child and Grieving Your Genetics are Separate

Grief over genetic loss and love for a donor-conceived child are separate emotions that can coexist without affecting parental bonding.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago

I'm 70 and I just realized the reason I never respected my father wasn't because he was a bad person - it was because I watched him let my mother carry everything, and somewhere around age twelve I decided that men who don't show up are just furniture with feelings, and I've carried that contempt into every relationship I've ever had - Silicon Canals

Unequal household labor distribution erodes respect and perpetuates generational patterns of resentment toward partners who avoid domestic responsibilities.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
3 weeks ago

There's No Such Thing as a Child Expert

No true parenting or child experts exist because children are unique, fallible, and inconsistent individuals; expertise in parenting strategies does not equate to understanding your specific child better than you do.
fromenglish.elpais.com
1 month ago

I don't like my mother': Why do children decide to distance themselves from their parents?

Parents hold a key that grants access to areas of their child's life that no one else can enter a foundational intimacy. However, more and more people are choosing to sever that bond and throw the key away. It's difficult to quantify how many children have decided to stop speaking to their parents, although some studies point to a steady increase in recent years.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
4 weeks ago

My Boyfriend Is Very Wrong About What Makes Someone a Good Parent. I'm Not Sure I Can Marry Him.

He admires 'tiger parents.' He talks a lot about how the ideal parent is a strict disciplinarian, academically oriented, and pushes kids hard to set them up for future success. He thinks his teachers and his mom let him coast on his ADHD diagnosis, and vows that his kids will not 'get exceptions.' He thinks he would be more successful now if he'd had consistent parental pressure.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago

The art of the uncelebrated parent: 8 habits of mothers and fathers who gave everything to their children and learned to live with the quiet that came after - Silicon Canals

Kids don't owe you gratitude for doing your job as a parent. You signed up for this. You chose to have them. Taking care of them isn't some favor you're doing-it's what you're supposed to do. The parents who get this stop keeping score. They stop waiting for recognition.
Parenting
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

Parenting and Unconditional Love

Love a child unconditionally, even during their worst moments, while balancing safety and boundaries when serious mental illness affects behavior.
Parenting
fromBuzzFeed
2 months ago

18 Parenting Norms From Other Countries That Most Americans Don't Pactice

Parenting practices vary widely worldwide—mealtime norms, stranger interactions with infants, and school food and manners differ significantly across cultures.
Parenting
fromIndependent
2 months ago

Our daughter only wants her mum - how can I step in to help soothe her and share the load?

Young children often prefer one parent; gently stepping back and rebalancing caregiving duties prevents caregiver burnout and supports children's developing emotional regulation.
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