He had already picked on me several times for laughing too loud, too readily (that wasn't even a joke, he chastised me at one point). I was trying hard to suppress my laughter to hold it in, to hold it back, to not fully express the joy I was feeling. I was being somewhat successful. And then I wasn't. Everyone in the audience was laughing but I was laughing too much.
My wife was showing photos and videos of our trip overseas at a family gathering. Our parents were there, her nonna, our siblings, nieces and nephews, and our two kids. She plugged the laptop directly into the TV and was clicking through a folder I hadn't sorted yet. Up popped an extremely graphic video we had recorded of ourselves. Extremely loud. In front of the whole family.
Indeed, our most painful and vivid memories are often of experiences in which we were humiliated by or in front of others. Embarrassment can lead to shame and self-loathing. It can diminish our confidence, shake us from our sense of certainty, and cause the kind of repression that expresses itself in all types of neuroses. When we feel embarrassed, we want to avoid others and conceal that of which we are ashamed.
You're sitting down to enjoy a meal with your friends or family at a restaurant, and all of a sudden, a raucous begins to brew. While you grab your purse or wallet and duck under the table for safety, the disturbance reaches a crescendo of hollering, singing, bizarre costumes, and, sometimes, a prop or two. When you realize what it is, your surprise turns to a hope that it's not your table that the commotion is focused on.
