He had an alcohol addiction. He frequently lost his temper and shouted, usually only at me. He lied more and more, often about ridiculous things. I later found out he was committing fraud on a huge scale. When I confronted him, he cheerfully admitted it and said he had deliberately implicated not just me but also our sons, so I would not report him to the police if I ever discovered what he was doing.
I'm a woman, and I have been with my husband for 18 years. He is 22 years older than me. When we met, I was still recovering from a nasty divorce where my ex repeatedly cheated on me. After much thought, I rejected monogamy. My (now) husband was fine with having an open relationship. For the first 10 years, we had fun as swingers.
If you are in an unhealthy marriage that has been dysfunctional for years, it may be hard to accept the reality that your marriage and/or your spouse is not going to change. You've invested time and energy into this relationship and don't want to give up now. Maybe you keep thinking that once life settles down, or you get that new job, or the kids are more independent, then things will get better.
