#mindfulness

#mindfulness

Devon Hase states, 'People are trying desperately to fix, optimize, or escape their way out of relationship difficulty - and suffering more for the effort. Social media has made this worse! We're surrounded by images of perfect partnerships while quietly drowning in our own ordinary struggles.' This highlights the pressure couples feel in the age of social media.

"Wake Up" serves as a vibrant reminder to slow down and be mindful amidst the chaos of everyday life, addressing the trap of overthinking.

Ever walked into a room and instantly felt the tension, even though no one said a word? Or found yourself inexplicably exhausted after spending time with certain people? I used to think I was just overly sensitive. After getting my psychology degree, I'd find myself completely drained after social gatherings, carrying emotions that didn't even feel like mine. It wasn't until I dove deeper into Eastern philosophy and mindfulness practices that I realized something profound: I was absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge.

"Piano piano" is an old Italian saying that sounds nonsensical, but is actually full of wisdom, especially if you, like me, are finding yourself wishing away these frigid winter days and hoping spring and summer gets here fast. These days, I've found myself rushing from one thing to the next, frustrated at the smallest things, from post office lines to just missing my train. And I'm ready to make a change.

On a cool, rainy afternoon in the wilds of Laikipia, Kenya, I am lying in savasana, or corpse pose, beside a log fire in the pool house of Enasoit Camp. The teacher, Laura Bunting, gently intones a yoga nidra to our small, all-female group, during which I slip in and out of a hypnotic half-light state, only vaguely aware of the sound of rain on the thatched roof and the percussive efforts of a nearby woodpecker.

A simple mindful practice that can slow down emotional reaction, invite a breath, and encourage you to pause before you post. Social media has made it easy to broadcast our thoughts and feelings far and wide in an instant. At the same time, we often don't even consider the huge numbers of people who will read what we share. How many friends do you have across your socials? 300 to 400? 500 plus? How often do you really pause before you post?

The idea that you aren't worthy unless you are producing results has seeped like insidious black mold into every facet of our modern lives. We are pressured to always be making goals, going somewhere, or achieving something. "Doing nothing" is scorned as lazy. Pursuing a hobby with no monetary value or social esteem is deemed a waste of time. You only have a certain number of days on this planet. If you don't spend them hustling, you're of no use to anyone.

The monks are part of a 2,300-mile pilgrimage for peace from a Buddhist temple in Fort Worth, Texas, across nine states to Washington DC. Dressed in vibrant orange robes, they have walked about 20 miles daily, eating one meal a day and practicing loving-kindness a form of mindfulness that can be thought of as a form of non-violent resistance. Their journey is a slow-moving meditation meant to embody peace, rather than argue for it.

You feel an unpleasant sensation - like a sinking feeling of anxiety in your stomach as the game begins, and you think, "I'm anxious. Here we go again. I'm about to blow it." You feel your pain increasing, and the thoughts churn: "Great. I'll probably miss a whole week of work." Imagined catastrophes fill your mind. Manage these thoughts with the 3 C's: Catch it, Check it, and Change it.

When Michael Pollan traveled to a cave in New Mexico to try to understand consciousness, he learned what good meditation is really made of. "The recipe was simpler (and much less appetizing) than I would have imagined," he writes: " To transcend the self, force yourself to be alone with it long enough to get so bored and exhausted that you are happy to let it go. "

After studying psychology and spending years observing human behavior, I've realized something profound: Exceptional emotional strength is about developing the capacity to sit with yourself, especially when things get tough. The fascinating thing is that psychology has identified specific behaviors that indicate this rare form of resilience. These are simple actions that, when done alone, reveal a depth of emotional maturity most people never develop.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially after watching my wife's Vietnamese grandmother at a recent family gathering. At 82, she moves through life with this remarkable lightness, even though she's lived through more hardship than I can imagine. She doesn't speak much English, but her presence speaks volumes. What makes someone age into that kind of person? The one who glows from within, who seems genuinely content, who younger people naturally gravitate toward?

Instead, they practice something called "friluftsliv" - literally "free air life" - and in February, when winter feels endless, this practice becomes almost sacred. It's their secret weapon against the darkness, and after trying it myself during a particularly rough winter, I can tell you it works better than any supplement I've ever taken. The word itself sounds complicated, but friluftsliv is beautifully simple. It means spending time outdoors, regardless of weather conditions. Not despite the cold and darkness, but because of it.

Remaining present in the modern world includes noticing the good. We're not talking toxic positivity here. We're referring to a simple commitment to also noticing what's good in the world even as you navigate what's not. Whether you find these reminders burrowed in a news story, the feeling of being on your mat or out on a run, or the eyes of a loved one doesn't matter. Noticing them does.

Why would you do that? It's a way to remove distraction, calm your nervous system and practise mindfulness. And get clean. Yes, you also get clean. But this is more about finding those small, intentional moments that release you from the cares of your day. It sounds like an accident waiting to happen. You don't have to shower in complete darkness just in dim light, even by candlelight.