Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 hours agoStop Fixing, Start Strengthening: How to Raise Resilient Kids
Teaching children to navigate difficult emotions fosters resilience, confidence, and self-worth.
#childhood-engagement
#childhood-engagement
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#parenting #child-development #mental-health #emotional-intelligence #personal-growth #self-worth #psychology
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 hours agoNobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals
Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 hours agoPsychology says people who were told they were gifted as children often grow into adults who avoid challenges - because their identity was built on being naturally good, not on getting better - Silicon Canals
Labeling children as 'gifted' can hinder their growth by tying their self-worth to innate talent rather than effort and improvement.
#psychology
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
17 hours agoNot everyone who keeps a tidy home is organized. Some of them discovered as children that the inside of their house was the only variable that responded predictably to effort, and decades later they're still soothing an old chaos by straightening cushions that don't need straightening. - Silicon Canals
A clean kitchen counter often masks deeper psychological issues rooted in childhood chaos and the need for control.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals
Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
15 hours agoPeople who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals
Cleaning before the cleaner reflects a deeper issue of feeling unworthy of help without prior justification.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who drop their friends as soon as they get into a new relationship aren't choosing love over friendship - they're revealing that the friendships were always filling a need the relationship now fills, and the difference between a friend and a placeholder is something most people only discover when the relationship arrives and the friends quietly disappear - Silicon Canals
Friendships often fade when one partner enters a romantic relationship, revealing the superficial nature of some connections.
#emotional-health
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm 37 and I've already learned that your body keeps score, your gut rarely lies, and your childhood follows you into every relationship - while pretending I had it all figured out at 25 - Silicon Canals
Emotional struggles and stress manifest physically, impacting health and well-being.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoI grew up in the 1970s and the closest thing I had to therapy was my uncle telling me to 'walk it off' after I broke my collarbone - and that phrase became my entire emotional philosophy for the next fifty years - Silicon Canals
Some emotional wounds cannot be healed by simply ignoring them; they require acknowledgment and processing.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals
Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who mellow out as they get older aren't the ones who suffered less - they're the ones who decided, at some point and without always knowing they were deciding, that the suffering was going to make them more open rather than less, and that decision, remade daily in small ways that nobody notices, is the entire difference - Silicon Canals
Emotional responses to life's challenges can change over time, leading to greater peace and stability despite ongoing difficulties.
#emotional-unavailability
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoPsychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals
Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoMost people don't realize that children who grow up without affection don't struggle with love as adults. They struggle with trusting it, because it never felt safe to depend on - Silicon Canals
Emotional unavailability stems from a lack of early affection, leading to difficulties in accepting love despite an inherent capacity for it.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoPsychology says parents who provided everything materially and nothing emotionally aren't cold - they were loved the same way and genuinely had no idea there was another option - Silicon Canals
Emotionally unavailable parents often substitute material provision and gifts for emotional presence, translating affection into the only language they fluently speak.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology says the most important life lesson isn't learning to make better decisions - it's learning to live peacefully with the ones you can't undo - Silicon Canals
Irreversible choices shape our lives and learning to coexist with them is crucial for mental well-being.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 hours agoPsychology says the most emotionally strong people aren't the ones who never fall apart - they're the ones who fall apart privately, reassemble without fanfare, and never use their recovery as a reason for anyone else to feel guilty - Silicon Canals
Emotional strength involves acknowledging feelings and recovering privately, not denying vulnerability or pretending to be unbreakable.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoChildren raised in the 1960s and 70s developed their resilience the same way muscle develops under resistance - not by being protected from the load but by being required to carry it, repeatedly, without assistance, until the carrying became the unremarkable default rather than the exceptional achievement - Silicon Canals
Independence and resilience were fostered in children of the '60s and '70s through unstructured play and learning from failure.
Mental health
fromIndependent
1 day agoAsking for a friend: 'My son has just been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. My husband also got tested and has ADHD. How will all this affect our relationship?'
Navigating the challenges of neurodiversity in a family can be overwhelming, especially with multiple diagnoses affecting communication and relationships.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoI'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals
Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoPsychology suggests people who stay calm during conflict aren't less emotional - they learned early that the person who controls the temperature of the room controls the outcome, and they stopped reacting and started choosing - Silicon Canals
Controlling emotional responses during conflict can significantly influence the outcome of the situation.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoChildren who were praised for being smart rather than for working hard often become adults who avoid challenges - not from laziness but from a deep fear of being found ordinary - Silicon Canals
Praising children for being 'smart' can hinder their growth mindset and willingness to take risks.
Education
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoI asked a group of people in their 70s what they'd un-learn if they could and every single one named something they were taught before age 10 - not a fact, not a skill, a belief about themselves that was installed by a specific person in a specific room, and the fact that it's still running 60 years later without their permission is the thing that made half the room go quiet - Silicon Canals
Beliefs installed in childhood by authority figures persist into adulthood, shaping decisions and self-perception for decades without conscious awareness or permission.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
17 hours agoPsychology says the reason older people stop caring isn't emotional withdrawal - it's that they've finally learned to distinguish between what actually matters and what they were only caring about out of social obligation - Silicon Canals
Older individuals prioritize emotional connections over superficial relationships as they age, focusing on what truly matters in their lives.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day agoPsychology says people who grew up poor and became successful often can't fully enjoy it - not because they're ungrateful, but because some part of them never stopped waiting for it to disappear - Silicon Canals
Successful individuals often struggle with feelings of scarcity and anxiety about their financial stability, despite their achievements.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals
Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoParenting
Psychology says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to develop internal regulation instead of waiting for adult intervention - Silicon Canals
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals
Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days agoPsychology says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to develop internal regulation instead of waiting for adult intervention - Silicon Canals
Children in the 70s thrived on unstructured play and minimal parental intervention, fostering independence and problem-solving skills.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoChildren who grew up watching their parents stay together despite being visibly unhappy often develop a very specific fear as adults - they confuse sacrifice with love and can't tell the difference until someone shows them both - Silicon Canals
Emotional bonds with caregivers shape adult attachment patterns, influencing perceptions of love and suffering in relationships.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoPsychology says people who apologize constantly without realizing it are more damaged than they appear - because they internalize blame and absorb conflict, a survival response from childhood, which never switches off even when they're safe - Silicon Canals
Excessive apologizing often stems from childhood experiences of mistreatment and can lead to chronic self-blame in adulthood.
#child-development
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPeople who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals
Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoPeople who were labeled 'the easy child' often became adults who confuse having no needs with being low maintenance, and the difference between those two things is about thirty years of unasked questions - Silicon Canals
Easy children often grow into adults who suppress their needs, leading to quiet suffering despite appearing content.
#empathy
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days agoPsychology says people who ask 'how can I learn to be more empathetic' already possess the one trait that matters most - self-awareness - while people who claim they're already empathetic rarely are - Silicon Canals
Self-awareness is essential for developing genuine empathy and emotional intelligence.
#emotional-neglect
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoI grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals
Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days agoI grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals
Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Miscellaneous
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoKids Today: Thoughts From Research, Practice, and the Classroom
Each generation faces unique challenges; today's youth deserve recognition for their perspectives rather than dismissal, as evidenced by clinical research, therapeutic practice, and educational settings.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days agoYou can tell someone had a tough childhood if they apologize for taking up space - not in the dramatic way, but in the small daily way, the sorry before the question, the thank you after the ordinary kindness, the slight surprise every time someone is simply decent to them, as though decency was never something they learned to expect - Silicon Canals
Some individuals habitually apologize, reflecting deeper issues of self-worth and the learned behavior of minimizing their presence in social situations.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago9 subtle behaviors that reveal someone grew up in a household where money was discussed in whispers, and why those behaviors persist long after financial security has arrived - Silicon Canals
Financial behaviors are shaped by early experiences and trauma, not just knowledge or information gaps about money.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago7 signs you were the emotional translator between your parents as a child and it permanently changed the way your brain processes your own feelings as an adult - Silicon Canals
Parentification leads children to assume adult caregiving roles, impacting their emotional processing and self-awareness into adulthood.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago7 behavioral patterns people display when they were raised by a parent who loved them deeply but had no idea how to express it without criticism - Silicon Canals
Critical parents can love deeply yet struggle to express it without criticism, leading to complex emotional patterns in their children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoResearch says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to self-regulate, problem-solve, and develop emotional calluses that modern comfort has made nearly impossible to grow - Silicon Canals
Reduced independent activity and increased parental supervision since the 1960s correlates with rising youth mental health problems including anxiety, depression, and suicide rates.
Education
fromSilicon Canals
1 month agoTeachers can tell which children are truly loved and which are only taken care of-here are 7 signs they notice right away - Silicon Canals
Teachers can quickly detect whether children feel genuinely loved at home through subtle, consistent behavioral cues rather than material signs.
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoWhen Your Child Has a Glass-Half-Empty Mindset
We sit down for dinner. Declan (5) whines, 'You didn't get me my milk!' Not, 'Thank you so much for this delicious meal you have made after a long workday, Mommy. Can I please have some milk?' We get to the playground, and he complains, 'You didn't bring the right pail!' We read three books at bedtime, he accuses, 'We didn't get to read my favorite book about the pandas (because he hadn't chosen it!) The whining is out of control and driving us mad.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
1 month agoListen to Your Mother: What Children Learn by Eavesdropping
What makes me even crazier is that I know they can listen. I know this because they do all the time, mostly when they aren't supposed to. I can't tell you how many times I've been having an adult conversation with my husband and/or friends and my two children-who haven't listened to a word I've said all day-suddenly have very thoughtful and detailed questions
Parenting
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