I was stealing other people's definitions of happiness and trying to make them fit my life. I'd walk past neighbors' houses at night, see their living rooms lit up through the windows, and think that's what I was missing.
I would squirm in my chair as my new teacher worked their way through the class register, and my stomach would drop as they attempted to say my full name: Priti Ubhayakar.
Devon Hase states, 'People are trying desperately to fix, optimize, or escape their way out of relationship difficulty - and suffering more for the effort. Social media has made this worse! We're surrounded by images of perfect partnerships while quietly drowning in our own ordinary struggles.' This highlights the pressure couples feel in the age of social media.
"After the drive for food and shelter, it is the motivation to matter that drives human behavior," says Wallace. "It is this idea of feeling valued by our family, our friends, our colleagues, our community, and having an opportunity to add value back to the world around us." Studies show that when we have this, it is better for our overall health, especially mental health. "The research is finding that it is linked with lower depression, lower anxiety, reduced risk of suicide," says Wallace.
People say it takes a village to do difficult things: raise a child, sustain a community, build a barn. But we don't often talk a lot about what it takes to be a villager. What does it mean to not just be in a community, but to help create one? Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, says the key is to put yourself out there, even if it's scary.
Lately, I've started noticing the importance of friendship in my life. This comes at an unheard-of time of change, disruption, and societal trauma. While it may not be surprising that I'm personally feeling the importance of a few close, deep friends ('heart friends'), it spurred me into thinking about how others are faring at this time and how close, bonded friendships may help us. In fact, friendships are positively correlated with emotional well-being, which we all could use more of right now.
Ever wonder why you're exhausted trying to maintain relationships with everyone from your high school lab partner to that person you met at a conference three years ago? Here's something that might surprise you: anthropologist Robin Dunbar's research suggests our brains can only handle about 150 social connections, and of those, only five make up our innermost circle. That's right, five.
