The only thing worse than making a mistake is keeping it bottled up inside. Learning from the mistakes of others could help you embark on the healing journey of sharing and working through a mistake of your own, with someone you trust.
Someone says something to us, and we are suddenly struck with a sinking feeling in our stomach. Someone does something, and instantly we become enraged or alarmed. Someone comes at us with a certain attitude, and we go to pieces. We hear mention of a person, place, or thing that is associated with an unresolved issue or a past trauma, and we immediately feel ourselves seize up with sadness, anger, fear, or shame.
Our culture, and often our upbringing, teaches us that emotional strength equals control; rather than working through or processing difficult emotions, like anger, grief, shame, and fear, we learn to push feelings aside and 'get over it'. Don't dwell. Don't fall apart. Be positive. Get a grip. We learn to project an image of unrealistic stability and strength, while ignoring our actual mental state.
Even when our own lives are relatively stable, constant exposure to war, political unrest, climate crises, and humanitarian suffering activates the brain's threat system. The nervous system is not designed to distinguish between danger that is physically nearby and danger that is emotionally vivid or repeatedly witnessed. Over time, this creates chronic vigilance. When people observe patterns of harm, exclusion, or dehumanization playing out publicly, the body registers risk.
When we think about getting help for our mental health, therapy is often the first-and sometimes only-option that comes to mind. Therapy works, and for many people it is essential. But it is not the only effective path. Emerging evidence suggests that well‑designed coaching -especially when delivered inside an adaptive, stepped‑care model-can help people feel better faster, build emotional skills, and relieve pressure on an overburdened clinical system (Sagui Henson et al.).
