#growing-up

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#self-worth
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 hours ago

Nobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals

Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
35 minutes ago

Why Confidence Doesn't Always Reflect True Self-Worth

Authentic self-worth is grounded in presence and self-acceptance, contrasting with fragile self-worth tied to external perceptions.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says people who feel successful at 50 aren't the ones who achieved the most - they're the ones who stopped measuring their worth against an imaginary scoreboard they inherited at 23 - Silicon Canals

Measuring worth against inherited societal scorecards leads to disappointment and a distorted sense of success.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Psychology says if you want your 70s to be the best years of your life you have to stop doing something most people don't quit until it's too late - and the quitting isn't dramatic, it's just the daily decision to stop measuring yourself by a standard that was always someone else's and never actually yours - Silicon Canals

Measuring worth by external standards leads to dissatisfaction; true value comes from personal fulfillment, not societal expectations.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 hours ago

Nobody teaches children how to know their own worth - we teach them to perform, to achieve, and to behave, and then wonder why so many adults reach fifty still measuring themselves against someone else's ruler - Silicon Canals

Self-worth is inherent and not based on achievements or external validation.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
35 minutes ago

Why Confidence Doesn't Always Reflect True Self-Worth

Authentic self-worth is grounded in presence and self-acceptance, contrasting with fragile self-worth tied to external perceptions.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says people who feel successful at 50 aren't the ones who achieved the most - they're the ones who stopped measuring their worth against an imaginary scoreboard they inherited at 23 - Silicon Canals

Measuring worth against inherited societal scorecards leads to disappointment and a distorted sense of success.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Psychology says if you want your 70s to be the best years of your life you have to stop doing something most people don't quit until it's too late - and the quitting isn't dramatic, it's just the daily decision to stop measuring yourself by a standard that was always someone else's and never actually yours - Silicon Canals

Measuring worth by external standards leads to dissatisfaction; true value comes from personal fulfillment, not societal expectations.
#parenting
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
41 minutes ago

Research suggests the 1960s and 70s produced adults who could self-soothe, entertain themselves, and tolerate boredom - not because their parents were wise but because their parents were simply elsewhere - Silicon Canals

Modern parenting emphasizes structured activities, contrasting sharply with past generations' unstructured play, which may have fostered resilience and independence in children.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 day ago

My Daughter Made an Honest Mistake While Babysitting Her Cousins. My Sister Is Taking It Too Far.

Beatrice should take responsibility for her actions and communicate with her aunt about the incident.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals

Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals

Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromIndependent
4 days ago

My 10-year-old son watched porn at a friend's house - but I have no idea how to talk to him about it

Reactions to a child's discovery of pornography can influence their willingness to communicate openly.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days ago

Psychology says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to develop internal regulation instead of waiting for adult intervention - Silicon Canals

Children in the 70s thrived on unstructured play and minimal parental intervention, fostering independence and problem-solving skills.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
41 minutes ago

Research suggests the 1960s and 70s produced adults who could self-soothe, entertain themselves, and tolerate boredom - not because their parents were wise but because their parents were simply elsewhere - Silicon Canals

Modern parenting emphasizes structured activities, contrasting sharply with past generations' unstructured play, which may have fostered resilience and independence in children.
Parenting
fromSlate Magazine
1 day ago

My Daughter Made an Honest Mistake While Babysitting Her Cousins. My Sister Is Taking It Too Far.

Beatrice should take responsibility for her actions and communicate with her aunt about the incident.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I recently told my son that I was proud of him for the first time in his adult life, and the look on his face told me everything about the cost of assuming that providing for someone communicates the same thing as telling them they matter - Silicon Canals

Verbal expressions of pride are crucial for emotional connection between parents and children.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says parents who can't stop helping their adult children aren't being loving - they're unconsciously protecting themselves from the terror of becoming unnecessary - Silicon Canals

Parental overinvolvement may stem from a fear of irrelevance rather than solely from love.
Parenting
fromIndependent
4 days ago

My 10-year-old son watched porn at a friend's house - but I have no idea how to talk to him about it

Reactions to a child's discovery of pornography can influence their willingness to communicate openly.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
4 days ago

Psychology says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to develop internal regulation instead of waiting for adult intervention - Silicon Canals

Children in the 70s thrived on unstructured play and minimal parental intervention, fostering independence and problem-solving skills.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 hours ago

Psychology says people who were told they were gifted as children often grow into adults who avoid challenges - because their identity was built on being naturally good, not on getting better - Silicon Canals

Labeling children as 'gifted' can hinder their growth by tying their self-worth to innate talent rather than effort and improvement.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
4 hours ago

Before You Share Your Body, Ask: Do They Know You?

Physical intimacy often occurs before emotional intimacy, highlighting a paradox in relationships where vulnerability is avoided despite physical closeness.
Careers
fromSilicon Canals
8 hours ago

I'm 66 and I spent forty years being extremely good at my job and last spring I realized I had optimized my entire existence for the approval of people I didn't particularly like - Silicon Canals

Professional dedication can sometimes mask a deeper need for approval from others, leading to personal sacrifices and a loss of self-identity.
Writing
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

I'm 66 and the most important relationship of my adult life has been with solitude - not as a consolation for the company I didn't have, but as the place where I have always been most honest, most creative, and most recognizably myself, and I spent too many years being embarrassed about that before I understood it was simply how I was built - Silicon Canals

Solitude allows for self-discovery and personal reflection, free from societal expectations and external pressures.
Women
fromwww.businessinsider.com
1 day ago

I left my career to be a stay-at-home mom. I didn't expect to lose my identity.

A career change to stay home with children can lead to unexpected emotional and financial challenges.
London politics
fromwww.theguardian.com
2 days ago

Young people want to come together': experts respond to mass teen meet-ups in Clapham

Teenagers organized chaotic gatherings in London via social media, leading to disorder and arrests, prompting political outrage and calls for action against youth behavior.
fromEurekAlert!
3 days ago
Online Community Development

Why some people change only when enough others do

Understanding individual thresholds for change and social networks can help overcome resistance to adopting new behaviors like climate change solutions.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Psychology suggests people who stay calm during conflict aren't less emotional - they learned early that the person who controls the temperature of the room controls the outcome, and they stopped reacting and started choosing - Silicon Canals

Controlling emotional responses during conflict can significantly influence the outcome of the situation.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I'm 66 and I spent forty years trying to stay positive through everything - and what I actually created was a life where nobody knew me well enough to notice when I was drowning - Silicon Canals

Staying positive can lead to hidden struggles and emotional isolation, as individuals often mask their true feelings to appear strong.
NYC parents
fromBig Think
5 days ago

The quiet disappearance of the free-range childhood

Child protective services investigated a couple after their son rode his scooter to a nearby playground alone, leading to a finding of neglect.
Education
fromPsychology Today
6 days ago

Building Perseverance: How to Raise Children Who Stick with It

Children's lack of follow-through is often due to underdeveloped perseverance skills, not laziness or lack of intelligence.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals

Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

There's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals

Emotional estrangement between fathers and children stems from generational differences in expressing love and vulnerability.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who mellow out as they get older aren't the ones who suffered less - they're the ones who decided, at some point and without always knowing they were deciding, that the suffering was going to make them more open rather than less, and that decision, remade daily in small ways that nobody notices, is the entire difference - Silicon Canals

Emotional responses to life's challenges can change over time, leading to greater peace and stability despite ongoing difficulties.
#happiness
Writing
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

I'm 66 and I spent four decades chasing the version of happiness I saw in other people's living rooms - and the day I stopped, I noticed I'd been happy in my own kitchen all along - Silicon Canals

Measuring happiness against others' lives leads to perpetual dissatisfaction and obscures personal contentment.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals

Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
Writing
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

I'm 66 and I spent four decades chasing the version of happiness I saw in other people's living rooms - and the day I stopped, I noticed I'd been happy in my own kitchen all along - Silicon Canals

Measuring happiness against others' lives leads to perpetual dissatisfaction and obscures personal contentment.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals

Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
5 hours ago

Why Today's Young Men Seem Trapped

Young men face a crisis of identity, struggling with anxiety, depression, and confusion about manhood due to societal pressures and lack of personal power.
Philosophy
fromApaonline
6 days ago

Let Kids Be Kids? The Ethics of Maximizing Children's Talents

Children are increasingly pushed to maximize their athletic talent from a very young age, often at the expense of social and academic development.
Education
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

7 Words to Say When Your Child Shuts Down About School

Kids often shut down around schoolwork due to anxiety, and supportive communication can help them re-engage.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Children raised in the 1960s and 70s developed their resilience the same way muscle develops under resistance - not by being protected from the load but by being required to carry it, repeatedly, without assistance, until the carrying became the unremarkable default rather than the exceptional achievement - Silicon Canals

Independence and resilience were fostered in children of the '60s and '70s through unstructured play and learning from failure.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
19 hours ago

The people who are best at hiding unhappiness aren't the stoic ones or the quiet ones - they're the ones who became so skilled at giving everyone around them exactly enough warmth to never be looked at too closely - Silicon Canals

People often hide their struggles behind a facade of warmth, leading to loneliness despite appearing thriving.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

I'm 66 and I woke up last Thursday and realized I couldn't name a single thing I was looking forward to - not because nothing good was happening but because I'd trained myself to find meaning in being needed and nobody needs me anymore - Silicon Canals

Finding purpose in being needed can lead to a loss of personal desires and identity after retirement.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 hours ago

The hardest thing about being the calm one in a family is that your steadiness becomes load-bearing. Everyone leans on it, nobody asks what holds it up, and the day you finally crack, people don't comfort you. They panic. Because your collapse threatens the architecture, and the architecture was always more important than you were. - Silicon Canals

The calm family member often bears the burden of emotional labor, managing others' feelings while suppressing their own.
Mindfulness
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

Advice for Kids: "Don't Do Your Best, Just Do What You Can"

'Do what you can' reduces pressure and promotes self-care, while 'Do your best' can lead to self-criticism.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

I'm 37 and the friendships in my life that have lasted are the ones where we stopped pretending - stopped curating what we showed each other, stopped performing the version of our lives that made sense on paper - and what replaced the pretending is the best thing I have built in the last decade - Silicon Canals

Authentic friendships emerge when individuals drop their facades and share their true struggles with each other.
#identity
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals

Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
16 hours ago

There's a specific kind of grief that belongs to people who outgrew their hometown but never fully arrived anywhere else. They're not homesick for the place. They're homesick for the version of themselves that didn't yet know the place was too small. - Silicon Canals

Returning to one's hometown reveals a paradox of searching for a lost self rather than a changed place.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals

Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
16 hours ago

There's a specific kind of grief that belongs to people who outgrew their hometown but never fully arrived anywhere else. They're not homesick for the place. They're homesick for the version of themselves that didn't yet know the place was too small. - Silicon Canals

Returning to one's hometown reveals a paradox of searching for a lost self rather than a changed place.
#friendship
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago
Relationships

Psychology says people who drop their friends as soon as they get into a new relationship aren't choosing love over friendship - they're revealing that the friendships were always filling a need the relationship now fills, and the difference between a friend and a placeholder is something most people only discover when the relationship arrives and the friends quietly disappear - Silicon Canals

Relationships
fromPsychology Today
3 days ago

How to Cultivate Adult Friendships

Negative beliefs about rejection hinder relationship building, while consistent interactions and practicing social skills foster connections and reduce anxiety.
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago
Relationships

I'm 37 and I watched my friendships disappear one by one - no fights, no drama - and then I realized it was me who changed - Silicon Canals

Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

The friends you made between 19 and 24 know a version of you that your current partner, your therapist, and your coworkers will never meet. And the grief isn't about losing those friends. It's about losing access to the person you were with them. - Silicon Canals

Friendships formed between ages 19 and 24 serve as an identity archive, reflecting a version of oneself that no longer exists.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who drop their friends as soon as they get into a new relationship aren't choosing love over friendship - they're revealing that the friendships were always filling a need the relationship now fills, and the difference between a friend and a placeholder is something most people only discover when the relationship arrives and the friends quietly disappear - Silicon Canals

Friendships often fade when one partner enters a romantic relationship, revealing the superficial nature of some connections.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
3 days ago

How to Cultivate Adult Friendships

Negative beliefs about rejection hinder relationship building, while consistent interactions and practicing social skills foster connections and reduce anxiety.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

I'm 37 and I watched my friendships disappear one by one - no fights, no drama - and then I realized it was me who changed - Silicon Canals

Friendships can fade as individuals change and evolve, often without conflict or clear reasons for the loss.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

The friends you made between 19 and 24 know a version of you that your current partner, your therapist, and your coworkers will never meet. And the grief isn't about losing those friends. It's about losing access to the person you were with them. - Silicon Canals

Friendships formed between ages 19 and 24 serve as an identity archive, reflecting a version of oneself that no longer exists.
Parenting
fromFast Company
2 days ago

Parents: A valuable source of AI intelligence

AI-assisted parenting tools are being developed by parents who understand the real challenges of childcare.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
15 hours ago

People who clean before the cleaner arrives, apologize when someone bumps into them, and pre-explain before anyone has asked for a justification all grew up in homes where taking up space without earning it first was treated as an act of aggression. - Silicon Canals

Cleaning before the cleaner reflects a deeper issue of feeling unworthy of help without prior justification.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

Start Strong But Never Finish? 4 Causes and 4 Solutions

Starting strong and quitting is common due to tedium, poor planning, and discouragement; recognizing patterns and seeking support can help overcome this.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 hours ago

Psychology says the most emotionally strong people aren't the ones who never fall apart - they're the ones who fall apart privately, reassemble without fanfare, and never use their recovery as a reason for anyone else to feel guilty - Silicon Canals

Emotional strength involves acknowledging feelings and recovering privately, not denying vulnerability or pretending to be unbreakable.
#child-development
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
3 days ago

Is Your Kid's Friend A Good Influence? Experts Share 6 Green Flags

Positive friendships build confidence and happiness in children, providing essential support throughout their development.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

I'm 37 and my daughter just said sorry for laughing too loud and I recognized the exact moment a child starts editing herself because I remember the day I did it too, and I remember who taught me. - Silicon Canals

Children often self-regulate their joy, but this can lead to unnecessary apologies for natural expressions of happiness.
Parenting
fromScary Mommy
3 days ago

Is Your Kid's Friend A Good Influence? Experts Share 6 Green Flags

Positive friendships build confidence and happiness in children, providing essential support throughout their development.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

I'm 37 and my daughter just said sorry for laughing too loud and I recognized the exact moment a child starts editing herself because I remember the day I did it too, and I remember who taught me. - Silicon Canals

Children often self-regulate their joy, but this can lead to unnecessary apologies for natural expressions of happiness.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

There's a specific kind of tiredness that has nothing to do with sleep. It comes from years of translating yourself into a version that other people could handle, and the exhaustion lives in the gap between who you are and who you've been performing so consistently that even you forgot there was a difference. - Silicon Canals

Workplace burnout often stems from the exhaustion of pretending to be someone you're not, rather than from overwork itself.
Relationships
fromSlate Magazine
2 days ago

I Don't Let Anyone I Date Meet My Parents. That's Not a Red Flag. I Have a Very Good Reason Why.

Some individuals avoid introducing partners to difficult family members to protect them from negative experiences.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
18 hours ago

Psychology says the reason older people stop caring isn't emotional withdrawal - it's that they've finally learned to distinguish between what actually matters and what they were only caring about out of social obligation - Silicon Canals

Older individuals prioritize emotional connections over superficial relationships as they age, focusing on what truly matters in their lives.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

You know a woman has lost her joy in life when she describes her days accurately and without feeling - when the words are all correct and the tone is completely flat and the account of her own life sounds like something being reported rather than lived, and she doesn't notice the flatness because she has been inside it long enough that it just sounds like how things are - Silicon Canals

Emotional flatness can creep in, making life feel like a series of tasks rather than meaningful experiences.
#emotional-neglect
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I'm 66 and I finally learned the hardest lesson isn't that people will disappoint you - it's that you'll disappoint yourself by pretending you don't need what you need until you forget what that even was - Silicon Canals

Neglecting emotional needs leads to a profound sense of loss and disconnection from oneself and others.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days ago

I grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals

Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I'm 66 and I finally learned the hardest lesson isn't that people will disappoint you - it's that you'll disappoint yourself by pretending you don't need what you need until you forget what that even was - Silicon Canals

Neglecting emotional needs leads to a profound sense of loss and disconnection from oneself and others.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days ago

I grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals

Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

Two Signs You're Raising a Hyper-Sensitive Child

Parenting requires understanding and support for emotionally sensitive children who may react more intensely to situations than their peers.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

This Theory Explains Why Neurodivergents Are Burning Out

Neurodivergent individuals experience higher burnout rates, necessitating accommodations to balance job demands and resources.
#aging
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who slowly become unpleasant to be around as they get older didn't develop new flaws - they lost the motivation to manage the old ones, and the management, it turns out, was doing considerably more work than anyone around them understood while it was still running - Silicon Canals

People don't become worse with age; they simply stop managing their flaws as their energy to do so diminishes.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals

The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

Psychology says people who become harder to be around as they get older aren't becoming more miserable - they're becoming less willing to absorb other people's discomfort at the expense of their own - Silicon Canals

Older adults prioritize emotionally meaningful relationships, leading to smaller social circles and active pruning of less fulfilling connections.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who slowly become unpleasant to be around as they get older didn't develop new flaws - they lost the motivation to manage the old ones, and the management, it turns out, was doing considerably more work than anyone around them understood while it was still running - Silicon Canals

People don't become worse with age; they simply stop managing their flaws as their energy to do so diminishes.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals

The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

Psychology says people who become harder to be around as they get older aren't becoming more miserable - they're becoming less willing to absorb other people's discomfort at the expense of their own - Silicon Canals

Older adults prioritize emotionally meaningful relationships, leading to smaller social circles and active pruning of less fulfilling connections.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Most people don't realize that children who grow up without affection don't struggle with love as adults. They struggle with trusting it, because it never felt safe to depend on - Silicon Canals

Emotional unavailability stems from a lack of early affection, leading to difficulties in accepting love despite an inherent capacity for it.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Children who were praised for being smart rather than for working hard often become adults who avoid challenges - not from laziness but from a deep fear of being found ordinary - Silicon Canals

Praising children for being 'smart' can hinder their growth mindset and willingness to take risks.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

The Day I Realized My Son Wasn't Defiant, He Was Ashamed

Understanding a child's emotional state is crucial; shame can manifest as feelings of worthlessness, impacting behavior and communication.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

Behavioral scientists found that the people who become less likeable with age but more respected are operating on a principle most people understand intellectually but can't execute emotionally - that respect and likeability are often inversely correlated after 60, because likeability requires you to shrink and respect requires you to hold your shape, and most people spent their first six decades shrinking and their last two deciding that holding their shape matters more than fitting into someone else's fra

Standing up for oneself can lead to decreased likability, but it is a necessary part of emotional maturity and self-respect.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who grew up poor and became successful often can't fully enjoy it - not because they're ungrateful, but because some part of them never stopped waiting for it to disappear - Silicon Canals

Successful individuals often struggle with feelings of scarcity and anxiety about their financial stability, despite their achievements.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
19 hours ago

The hardest part of growing up lower middle class wasn't the lack of money. It was learning to want things quietly, because visible desire in a household running on tight margins felt like an accusation against the people who were already giving everything they had. - Silicon Canals

Emotional training around scarcity shapes behavior in lower middle class childhoods, teaching children to suppress desires to avoid adding stress to their families.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
6 days ago

Children who were called 'the responsible one' often became adults who can't rest without guilt - not because they love productivity but because somewhere a five-year-old version of them still believes that if they stop holding everything together it will all fall apart - Silicon Canals

Freedom from responsibility can feel terrifying after a lifetime of being the responsible one.
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

What Are Young People's Most Important Life Goals?

Life History Theory emphasizes the tradeoffs individuals make in allocating energy to survival, growth, and reproduction, highlighting the competitive nature of energy acquisition.
Psychology
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who are nice on the surface but have no close friends aren't lonely because nobody wants them - they're lonely because the version of them that everyone wants is not the version that needs anything, and a self that never needs anything is a self that nobody ever gets close enough to actually know - Silicon Canals

Being nice can lead to emotional isolation and a lack of true connection with others.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Not everyone who avoids asking for help is proud. Some of them asked once, received it with a lecture attached, and learned that the cost of support was a small erosion of standing they could never quite earn back. - Silicon Canals

Asking for help can lead to unintended consequences that affect relationships and self-perception.
fromMail Online
6 days ago

Having children DOESN'T make you happy, study claims

'These results do not support our hypothesis that parenthood is positively associated with hedonic wellbeing (levels of positive emotions) and life satisfaction,' the researchers, from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus, wrote.
Parenting
fromUnHerd
1 month ago

The teenage-boy proving ground

The teenaged boy was the victim of what local news sources called a "social-media challenge" or "TikTok stunt" gone awry. He'd been with a group of friends who were filming the exploit, and who fled the scene without calling for help for fear of getting arrested - though, naturally, they also immediately posted video of the accident to social media.
New York City
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

9 subtle behaviors that reveal someone grew up in a household where money was discussed in whispers, and why those behaviors persist long after financial security has arrived - Silicon Canals

Financial behaviors are shaped by early experiences and trauma, not just knowledge or information gaps about money.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

People who were labeled 'too sensitive' often became adults who read rooms before anyone speaks, and the difference between those two things is about 20 years of misunderstanding - Silicon Canals

Sensitivity can evolve from a perceived weakness into a valuable skill for understanding emotional dynamics in various situations.
#loneliness
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says the loneliest people in life aren't the ones nobody likes - they're the kind, helpful people everyone appreciates but nobody thinks to check on because they seem so self-sufficient - Silicon Canals

Highly capable, helpful individuals often feel lonely because their strength creates an illusion that they do not need support.
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago
Psychology

Psychology says the people who actually escape loneliness don't do it by finding more people - they do it by finally dropping the version of themselves that made real connection impossible in the first place - Silicon Canals

Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says the loneliest people in life aren't the ones nobody likes - they're the kind, helpful people everyone appreciates but nobody thinks to check on because they seem so self-sufficient - Silicon Canals

Highly capable, helpful individuals often feel lonely because their strength creates an illusion that they do not need support.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

Psychology says the people who actually escape loneliness don't do it by finding more people - they do it by finally dropping the version of themselves that made real connection impossible in the first place - Silicon Canals

Loneliness stems from a lack of genuine connection, not merely from being alone or having many acquaintances.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says people who apologize constantly without realizing it are more damaged than they appear - because they internalize blame and absorb conflict, a survival response from childhood, which never switches off even when they're safe - Silicon Canals

Excessive apologizing often stems from childhood experiences of mistreatment and can lead to chronic self-blame in adulthood.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The people who say 'I'm fine with whatever you want to do' in every social situation aren't easygoing. They've simply never been in an environment where stating a preference didn't start a negotiation they couldn't afford to lose. - Silicon Canals

People who appear easygoing may actually be practicing conflict avoidance as a survival strategy learned from past experiences.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Psychology suggests people who downplay their birthday don't want less - they want the specific thing most birthdays have never delivered, which is the felt sense of being genuinely celebrated rather than obligatorily acknowledged, and they stopped asking for it because stopping felt better than hoping and being let down again - Silicon Canals

Some people avoid celebrating birthdays due to feelings of disconnection from superficial acknowledgments.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks ago

Research says the 1960s and 70s accidentally produced one of the most emotionally durable generations in modern history - not through better parenting but through benign neglect that forced children to self-regulate, problem-solve, and develop emotional calluses that modern comfort has made nearly impossible to grow - Silicon Canals

Reduced independent activity and increased parental supervision since the 1960s correlates with rising youth mental health problems including anxiety, depression, and suicide rates.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

There's a particular kind of strength that belongs to people who rebuilt their entire personality after 40 - not because something broke them, but because they finally had enough distance from their childhood to see what was never theirs to carry - Silicon Canals

Personality changes after forty often reflect a deeper honesty about one's true self rather than a crisis or breakdown.
Psychology
fromCornell Chronicle
1 week ago

A stable sense of purpose helps teens navigate life's challenges | Cornell Chronicle

Teenagers' sense of purpose fluctuates daily, and steady experiences of purpose may provide the most benefits during adolescence.
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

Why Time Increasingly Matters in Adolescence

Time is life-time, and increasingly young adolescents want to determine how their lives are personally spent. The outcome for parents is that they can feel rushed by youthful demands, while it can take more time for them to get what they requested.
Parenting
#family-estrangement
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Why Confidence About Puberty Matters for Teens

Middle schoolers with higher confidence in managing puberty experience fewer depression and anxiety symptoms, regardless of age, gender, or pubertal timing.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Adult Transitions and Dealing with Rejection

Build friendships by investing in mutual activities, focusing on smaller connections, aligning with values, and avoiding attempts to force entry into exclusionary cliques.
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Teens Are Asking to Be Seen: The Politics of Growing Up

Adolescence has always been a season of becoming. One of its most striking features is the dawning awareness that childhood is ending and adulthood is coming into view. This realization touches nearly every part of a young person's life: how they think, what they value, and, increasingly, how they understand the world beyond their own front door. Yet many teens encounter a familiar frustration as they begin to speak with more complexity-the sense of being dismissed, underestimated, or gently waved aside.
Parenting
Psychology
fromwww.theguardian.com
2 months ago

Adolescence lasts into your 30s so how should parents treat their adult children?

Adolescent brain development extends into the early thirties, so parenting responsibilities and vulnerability continue well beyond legal adulthood at eighteen.
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