Devon Hase states, 'People are trying desperately to fix, optimize, or escape their way out of relationship difficulty - and suffering more for the effort. Social media has made this worse! We're surrounded by images of perfect partnerships while quietly drowning in our own ordinary struggles.' This highlights the pressure couples feel in the age of social media.
When asked to rate high-performing candidates and average candidates, study participants preferred the high performers. No surprise there. But the highest-rated candidates of all were the high performers who had also just spilled coffee all over themselves before walking in the door. In other words, we want you to be able to do your job, but we don't mind if you're kind of a mess. In fact, we prefer it! You're relatable.
The shoulds are a type of cognitive distortion (unhelpful thinking habit) that can lead to judgment. You may judge others, for example, 'They shouldn't act that way,' and yourself. In this post, we will focus on the shoulds you direct at yourself, though the strategies may be helpful for all cognitive distortions.
In the interview, Tweedy dropped a line that's been echoing in my head, "Do not postpone happiness." This is so deceptively simple yet psychologically sharp, and it rings true to how I try to live my life. Most of us don't mean to delay joy. We tell ourselves we're being responsible: After this deadline...after the kids are older...After I lose the weight...After I finally feel less anxious...then I'll really live.
Human psychology is characterized by a paradoxical structure: The same species that wages war, destabilizes ecosystems, and creates collective threats also develops moral systems, empathic abilities, cultural innovations, and an increasing desire for internal harmony. In my previous post, I explored the possibility to transcend our paradoxical nature through learning. This contribution focuses on learning to see through the nature of our vulnerability.
