#grief-and-legacy

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#identity
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
11 hours ago

There's a specific kind of grief that belongs to people who outgrew their hometown but never fully arrived anywhere else. They're not homesick for the place. They're homesick for the version of themselves that didn't yet know the place was too small. - Silicon Canals

Returning to one's hometown reveals a paradox of searching for a lost self rather than a changed place.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals

Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
11 hours ago

There's a specific kind of grief that belongs to people who outgrew their hometown but never fully arrived anywhere else. They're not homesick for the place. They're homesick for the version of themselves that didn't yet know the place was too small. - Silicon Canals

Returning to one's hometown reveals a paradox of searching for a lost self rather than a changed place.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says people who feel like they've been living someone else's life aren't confused or ungrateful - they're often the ones who were so good at adapting in childhood that they never stopped adapting long enough to find out who they actually were - Silicon Canals

Adapting to others' needs in childhood can lead to feeling disconnected and lost in adulthood.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
14 hours ago

The people who are best at hiding unhappiness aren't the stoic ones or the quiet ones - they're the ones who became so skilled at giving everyone around them exactly enough warmth to never be looked at too closely - Silicon Canals

People often hide their struggles behind a facade of warmth, leading to loneliness despite appearing thriving.
France politics
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 day ago

Lebanese forced to bury their dead twice as war robs them of final goodbyes

War in Lebanon disrupts traditional funeral rites, forcing families to bury loved ones in temporary graveyards far from their hometowns.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
13 hours ago

Psychology says the reason older people stop caring isn't emotional withdrawal - it's that they've finally learned to distinguish between what actually matters and what they were only caring about out of social obligation - Silicon Canals

Older individuals prioritize emotional connections over superficial relationships as they age, focusing on what truly matters in their lives.
Books
fromIndependent
11 hours ago

My husband died suddenly. One final task remained: to publish the book he'd spent 25 years of his life working on

Editing a book on James Joyce took over two decades of research and writing, followed by three and a half years of editing.
Writing
fromSilicon Canals
19 hours ago

I'm 66 and the most important relationship of my adult life has been with solitude - not as a consolation for the company I didn't have, but as the place where I have always been most honest, most creative, and most recognizably myself, and I spent too many years being embarrassed about that before I understood it was simply how I was built - Silicon Canals

Solitude allows for self-discovery and personal reflection, free from societal expectations and external pressures.
#grief
fromIndependent
2 days ago
Fundraising

Modern Morals: My brother hasn't paid me back for my mum's funeral and it's brought up old feelings about him

Writing
fromSlate Magazine
1 week ago

I Lived Through the Worst Thing That Can Happen to a Parent. To Help Me Move On, I Did Something Drastic.

Grief is a persistent presence that evolves but never fully disappears.
Writing
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 week ago

When my best friend died, I couldn't bear to delete her phone contact. Here's why I never will

Grief can evoke complex emotions, blending disbelief and humor, as seen in unexpected reminders of lost loved ones.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

Nobody warns you that grief and loneliness are two different animals that hunt together. Grief takes the person. Loneliness takes every small moment you used to share with them and leaves you standing in the kitchen holding two coffee cups out of habit, morning after morning, until you teach yourself to reach for one. - Silicon Canals

Grief and loneliness are distinct experiences that affect individuals differently, with grief being a communal event and loneliness a persistent absence.
fromIndependent
2 days ago
Fundraising

Modern Morals: My brother hasn't paid me back for my mum's funeral and it's brought up old feelings about him

Writing
fromSlate Magazine
1 week ago

I Lived Through the Worst Thing That Can Happen to a Parent. To Help Me Move On, I Did Something Drastic.

Grief is a persistent presence that evolves but never fully disappears.
Writing
fromwww.theguardian.com
1 week ago

When my best friend died, I couldn't bear to delete her phone contact. Here's why I never will

Grief can evoke complex emotions, blending disbelief and humor, as seen in unexpected reminders of lost loved ones.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week ago

Nobody warns you that grief and loneliness are two different animals that hunt together. Grief takes the person. Loneliness takes every small moment you used to share with them and leaves you standing in the kitchen holding two coffee cups out of habit, morning after morning, until you teach yourself to reach for one. - Silicon Canals

Grief and loneliness are distinct experiences that affect individuals differently, with grief being a communal event and loneliness a persistent absence.
Medicine
fromIrish Independent
23 hours ago

Father of Aoife Johnston who died after UHL sepsis ordeal, passes away after battle with illness

James Johnston campaigned for justice after his daughter Aoife died due to medical misadventure following a 15-hour wait for treatment.
#emotional-health
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 37 and I've already learned that your body keeps score, your gut rarely lies, and your childhood follows you into every relationship - while pretending I had it all figured out at 25 - Silicon Canals

Emotional struggles and stress manifest physically, impacting health and well-being.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I'm 66 and I spent forty years trying to stay positive through everything - and what I actually created was a life where nobody knew me well enough to notice when I was drowning - Silicon Canals

Staying positive can lead to hidden struggles and emotional isolation, as individuals often mask their true feelings to appear strong.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Tough it out' was the only emotional instruction a whole generation of men ever received - and now they're sitting in retirement wondering why their body aches and nobody calls - Silicon Canals

Retirement brings a realization of emotional neglect and the need for deeper connections among men.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 37 and I've already learned that your body keeps score, your gut rarely lies, and your childhood follows you into every relationship - while pretending I had it all figured out at 25 - Silicon Canals

Emotional struggles and stress manifest physically, impacting health and well-being.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I'm 66 and I spent forty years trying to stay positive through everything - and what I actually created was a life where nobody knew me well enough to notice when I was drowning - Silicon Canals

Staying positive can lead to hidden struggles and emotional isolation, as individuals often mask their true feelings to appear strong.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Tough it out' was the only emotional instruction a whole generation of men ever received - and now they're sitting in retirement wondering why their body aches and nobody calls - Silicon Canals

Retirement brings a realization of emotional neglect and the need for deeper connections among men.
#trauma
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
2 weeks ago

The Lie Trauma Tells: 'No One Understands You'

Terminal uniqueness can hinder trauma survivors from seeking support, making connection with empathetic individuals essential for healing.
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

Why Is Eradicating Adverse Childhood Experiences Critical?

Nearly 90 percent of suicide attempts among high school students are attributable to ACEs, as are 80 percent of adult suicides, translating to 109 suicides per day.
Public health
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

There is a version of grief that only people in their forties understand. It's not for someone who died. It's for the life you were quietly building in your head for twenty years that you now realize was never going to happen, and the mourning has no name because the thing you lost never existed outside your own planning. - Silicon Canals

Midlife reckoning involves mourning an imagined life that never existed, rather than regret for choices made.
#breakups
#friendship
Writing
fromEsquire
3 days ago

My Best Friend Lived an Extraordinary Life. Why Did He Take It So Soon?

Friendship can form unexpectedly, as seen in the bond between two boys who became best friends despite being in separate classrooms.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

The friends you made between 19 and 24 know a version of you that your current partner, your therapist, and your coworkers will never meet. And the grief isn't about losing those friends. It's about losing access to the person you were with them. - Silicon Canals

Friendships formed between ages 19 and 24 serve as an identity archive, reflecting a version of oneself that no longer exists.
Writing
fromEsquire
3 days ago

My Best Friend Lived an Extraordinary Life. Why Did He Take It So Soon?

Friendship can form unexpectedly, as seen in the bond between two boys who became best friends despite being in separate classrooms.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

The friends you made between 19 and 24 know a version of you that your current partner, your therapist, and your coworkers will never meet. And the grief isn't about losing those friends. It's about losing access to the person you were with them. - Silicon Canals

Friendships formed between ages 19 and 24 serve as an identity archive, reflecting a version of oneself that no longer exists.
fromFast Company
2 days ago

What to do after a life-defining mistake

The only thing worse than making a mistake is keeping it bottled up inside. Learning from the mistakes of others could help you embark on the healing journey of sharing and working through a mistake of your own, with someone you trust.
Books
#aging
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals

The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago
Mental health

Psychology explains the reason some people grow sweeter with age while others grow bitter has nothing to do with how hard their life was - it's about whether they learned to grieve their losses or hoard them - Silicon Canals

Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Psychology says the reason aging people feel like they don't matter isn't about what they've lost - it's that society defines mattering as productivity and visibility, and the moment you step outside those narrow roles, your value becomes invisible even to people who love you - Silicon Canals

Retirement and aging can lead to feelings of invisibility and worthlessness due to society's narrow definitions of productivity.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The most painful thing about watching a parent age isn't the physical decline. It's the moment you catch them deferring to you on a decision they would have made without hesitation ten years ago, and you both feel the transfer of authority that neither of you agreed to. - Silicon Canals

The real challenge of aging parents lies in the subtle shifts of authority and uncertainty in their decision-making.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Psychology explains the reason some people grow sweeter with age while others grow bitter has nothing to do with how hard their life was - it's about whether they learned to grieve their losses or hoard them - Silicon Canals

Aging can lead to either bitterness or sweetness, depending on how one processes life's hurts and losses.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Psychology says the reason aging people feel like they don't matter isn't about what they've lost - it's that society defines mattering as productivity and visibility, and the moment you step outside those narrow roles, your value becomes invisible even to people who love you - Silicon Canals

Retirement and aging can lead to feelings of invisibility and worthlessness due to society's narrow definitions of productivity.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

The older I get the more I notice that my body remembers arguments my mind has forgiven. A tone of voice, a specific pause before someone speaks, a door closing at a certain speed. Forgiveness turned out to be a cognitive event that the nervous system never agreed to. - Silicon Canals

Forgiveness involves both conscious decisions and unconscious bodily responses, highlighting the complexity of emotional healing beyond mere intention.
#retirement
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
20 hours ago

I'm 66 and I woke up last Thursday and realized I couldn't name a single thing I was looking forward to - not because nothing good was happening but because I'd trained myself to find meaning in being needed and nobody needs me anymore - Silicon Canals

Finding purpose in being needed can lead to a loss of personal desires and identity after retirement.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychologists explain that people who feel neglected in retirement aren't necessarily being ignored - they're experiencing the sudden absence of the role-based relationships that made them feel valued for forty years - Silicon Canals

Retirement can lead to feelings of invisibility and loss of identity as relationships formed at work fade away.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
20 hours ago

I'm 66 and I woke up last Thursday and realized I couldn't name a single thing I was looking forward to - not because nothing good was happening but because I'd trained myself to find meaning in being needed and nobody needs me anymore - Silicon Canals

Finding purpose in being needed can lead to a loss of personal desires and identity after retirement.
Retirement
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychologists explain that people who feel neglected in retirement aren't necessarily being ignored - they're experiencing the sudden absence of the role-based relationships that made them feel valued for forty years - Silicon Canals

Retirement can lead to feelings of invisibility and loss of identity as relationships formed at work fade away.
fromIndependent
11 hours ago

Dear Mary: My mother's will left more to my brothers even though I was her main carer. I'm angry and upset and it's making me unwell

The will left 40% of the assets to both brothers and only 20% to me, despite my greater involvement in caregiving.
Relationships
#psychology
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
23 hours ago

Psychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals

Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

What Makes Painful Memories Stick

Painful memories linger because they signal threats to core psychological needs, making them psychologically urgent and demanding more cognitive processing.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
23 hours ago

Psychology suggests people who adopt their parents' bad traits as they get older aren't becoming their parents - they're reverting to the most deeply installed operating system they have, the one that was running before they were old enough to choose a different one, and stress, age, and the slow erosion of self-monitoring are simply the conditions under which it boots back up - Silicon Canals

Behavioral patterns from childhood can resurface under stress, revealing deep-rooted psychological templates formed from early experiences.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

What Makes Painful Memories Stick

Painful memories linger because they signal threats to core psychological needs, making them psychologically urgent and demanding more cognitive processing.
#loneliness
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago
Writing

I'm 66 and the loneliest I've ever felt wasn't after my children left or my friends moved away - it was the morning I woke up and realized I had nothing that needed me, nothing that depended on my showing up, and the whole day stretched ahead like a road with no destination - Silicon Canals

Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says the loneliest people in life aren't the ones nobody likes - they're the kind, helpful people everyone appreciates but nobody thinks to check on because they seem so self-sufficient - Silicon Canals

Highly capable, helpful individuals often feel lonely because their strength creates an illusion that they do not need support.
Writing
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

I'm 66 and the loneliest I've ever felt wasn't after my children left or my friends moved away - it was the morning I woke up and realized I had nothing that needed me, nothing that depended on my showing up, and the whole day stretched ahead like a road with no destination - Silicon Canals

Loneliness can stem from feeling unnecessary, not just from being alone.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Psychology says the loneliest people in life aren't the ones nobody likes - they're the kind, helpful people everyone appreciates but nobody thinks to check on because they seem so self-sufficient - Silicon Canals

Highly capable, helpful individuals often feel lonely because their strength creates an illusion that they do not need support.
Mindfulness
fromPsychology Today
1 week ago

Grief, Loss, Abundance, Joy: Finding Refuge in Harsh Times

Acceptance of loss is essential for emotional balance and finding solace in nature can help mitigate distress.
#emotional-resilience
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
20 hours ago

Psychology says people who mellow out as they get older aren't the ones who suffered less - they're the ones who decided, at some point and without always knowing they were deciding, that the suffering was going to make them more open rather than less, and that decision, remade daily in small ways that nobody notices, is the entire difference - Silicon Canals

Emotional responses to life's challenges can change over time, leading to greater peace and stability despite ongoing difficulties.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days ago

People who always laugh at their own pain aren't just funny. They survived childhoods where being sad meant being a burden, and that had nothing to do with resilience, and their humor is a dissociation technique that everyone mistakes for strength - Silicon Canals

Some individuals cope with pain by making jokes immediately, masking deeper emotional struggles rooted in childhood environments that discourage expressing feelings.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
20 hours ago

Psychology says people who mellow out as they get older aren't the ones who suffered less - they're the ones who decided, at some point and without always knowing they were deciding, that the suffering was going to make them more open rather than less, and that decision, remade daily in small ways that nobody notices, is the entire difference - Silicon Canals

Emotional responses to life's challenges can change over time, leading to greater peace and stability despite ongoing difficulties.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
6 days ago

People who always laugh at their own pain aren't just funny. They survived childhoods where being sad meant being a burden, and that had nothing to do with resilience, and their humor is a dissociation technique that everyone mistakes for strength - Silicon Canals

Some individuals cope with pain by making jokes immediately, masking deeper emotional struggles rooted in childhood environments that discourage expressing feelings.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

There's a generation of men who were taught that providing was the same as loving. And there's a generation of their children who spent years in therapy learning that those aren't the same thing, only to reach an age where they finally understand that for their fathers, inside the architecture they were given, it was. - Silicon Canals

Emotional estrangement between fathers and children stems from generational differences in expressing love and vulnerability.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

Not everyone who avoids asking for help is proud. Some of them asked once, received it with a lecture attached, and learned that the cost of support was a small erosion of standing they could never quite earn back. - Silicon Canals

Asking for help can lead to unintended consequences that affect relationships and self-perception.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
22 hours ago

When the Body Heals: Recovery From Relational Stress

Emotional stressors can lead to chronic stress, affecting immunity and increasing autoimmune disease risk, but healing can occur after relational stress ends.
Pets
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

Psychology says people who grieve a pet more intensely than they've grieved some relatives aren't being dramatic - the bond activates these 6 attachment pathways that human relationships often can't access, and the grief is unfiltered because the love was - Silicon Canals

Pet grief is psychologically valid because animals provide uncomplicated love and constant presence that human relationships often cannot match.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

The most painful version of not belonging isn't being rejected by strangers. It's sitting at your own family's dinner table, surrounded by people who share your last name, and feeling like you're watching the evening through glass. - Silicon Canals

Belonging can exist alongside profound loneliness, where one feels unseen even in the presence of family and friends.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

There's a specific kind of tiredness that has nothing to do with sleep. It comes from years of translating yourself into a version that other people could handle, and the exhaustion lives in the gap between who you are and who you've been performing so consistently that even you forgot there was a difference. - Silicon Canals

Workplace burnout often stems from the exhaustion of pretending to be someone you're not, rather than from overwork itself.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 73 and my husband asked me what makes me happy and I gave him the answer I thought he wanted to hear - our kids, our grandkids, our home - but the real answer is I genuinely don't know anymore because I've spent forty years editing my joy to fit other people's expectations - Silicon Canals

Editing joy to fit others' expectations can lead to losing sight of what truly makes one happy.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
21 hours ago

I'm 37 and the friendships in my life that have lasted are the ones where we stopped pretending - stopped curating what we showed each other, stopped performing the version of our lives that made sense on paper - and what replaced the pretending is the best thing I have built in the last decade - Silicon Canals

Authentic friendships emerge when individuals drop their facades and share their true struggles with each other.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology says people who apologize constantly without realizing it are more damaged than they appear - because they internalize blame and absorb conflict, a survival response from childhood, which never switches off even when they're safe - Silicon Canals

Excessive apologizing often stems from childhood experiences of mistreatment and can lead to chronic self-blame in adulthood.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

Not everyone who chooses a partner with visible problems is making bad decisions. Some of them are choosing people whose damage is louder than their own, because as long as they're fixing someone else, nobody turns the spotlight around and asks what broke them. - Silicon Canals

People often choose partners with visible problems to avoid confronting their own internal issues.
Parenting
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

There's a specific kind of grief that hits when you realize your parents weren't strict because they didn't trust you. They were strict because the world they grew up in punished mistakes permanently, and control was the only form of love that felt safe enough to offer. - Silicon Canals

Strict parenting rooted in scarcity and survival often reflects a parent's attempt to protect their child from an unforgiving world they experienced, rather than emotional withholding or personality rigidity.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 day ago

You know a woman has lost her joy in life when she describes her days accurately and without feeling - when the words are all correct and the tone is completely flat and the account of her own life sounds like something being reported rather than lived, and she doesn't notice the flatness because she has been inside it long enough that it just sounds like how things are - Silicon Canals

Emotional flatness can creep in, making life feel like a series of tasks rather than meaningful experiences.
#empathy
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

How to Help Someone Have an Empathy Makeover

Empathy can be developed through structured reflection and practice, enhancing mental health and relationship dynamics.
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago
Psychology

Research suggests people who feel more empathy for dogs than humans aren't broken - their empathy is fully intact, it's just been directed toward the only available recipient that has never weaponized it, and a person whose empathy has been weaponized enough times eventually stops handing it to anyone who could do it again - Silicon Canals

Psychology
fromPsychology Today
2 days ago

How to Help Someone Have an Empathy Makeover

Empathy can be developed through structured reflection and practice, enhancing mental health and relationship dynamics.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
4 days ago

The Impact of Detached Reactions to Tragedy

Detached responses to tragedy lower accountability and hinder empathy, while specific, caring responses promote genuine concern and action.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Research suggests people who feel more empathy for dogs than humans aren't broken - their empathy is fully intact, it's just been directed toward the only available recipient that has never weaponized it, and a person whose empathy has been weaponized enough times eventually stops handing it to anyone who could do it again - Silicon Canals

Empathy can be selective, often directed more towards animals than humans due to psychological and biological factors.
#emotional-neglect
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I finally learned the hardest lesson isn't that people will disappoint you - it's that you'll disappoint yourself by pretending you don't need what you need until you forget what that even was - Silicon Canals

Neglecting emotional needs leads to a profound sense of loss and disconnection from oneself and others.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

I grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals

Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Relationships
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I'm 66 and I finally learned the hardest lesson isn't that people will disappoint you - it's that you'll disappoint yourself by pretending you don't need what you need until you forget what that even was - Silicon Canals

Neglecting emotional needs leads to a profound sense of loss and disconnection from oneself and others.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

I grew up with a mother who was physically there but emotionally unreachable - and the confusion that produced, the child's inability to grieve a parent who is standing right in front of them, is the thing I have spent the most years in therapy trying to untangle and the thing I understood least for the longest - Silicon Canals

Emotional absence from a present parent can lead to profound feelings of unworthiness in a child.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
4 days ago

Talking About Death: The Depth of the Meaning of Life

Death is a certain aspect of life that is often uncomfortable to discuss, yet it shapes our relationships and understanding of existence.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 day ago

Start Strong But Never Finish? 4 Causes and 4 Solutions

Starting strong and quitting is common due to tedium, poor planning, and discouragement; recognizing patterns and seeking support can help overcome this.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

Psychology suggests people who downplay their birthday don't want less - they want the specific thing most birthdays have never delivered, which is the felt sense of being genuinely celebrated rather than obligatorily acknowledged, and they stopped asking for it because stopping felt better than hoping and being let down again - Silicon Canals

Some people avoid celebrating birthdays due to feelings of disconnection from superficial acknowledgments.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days ago

There's a specific kind of loyalty that keeps people in jobs, cities, and friendships years after the reason they stayed has disappeared. It's not inertia. It's that leaving would require admitting the time already spent wasn't building toward something, and that admission costs more than staying another year. - Silicon Canals

People remain in unfulfilling situations due to the fear of admitting past investments were unproductive, not because of passivity or fear of change.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
4 days ago

Remembering an Angel With a Traumatic Brain Injury

Laura, despite severe brain damage, radiated joy and built meaningful connections with caregivers, enriching their lives through her infectious spirit.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
4 days ago

There's a specific exhaustion that belongs to people who spent decades being exactly what everyone needed them to be - and then one day realized they couldn't remember what they needed - Silicon Canals

People-pleasing leads to losing one's identity and can result in profound exhaustion and disconnection from self.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 days ago

I recently understood that the tiredness I had been blaming on everything else - the job, the age, the schedule, the season - was not tiredness at all, it was the specific and sustained effort of living a life that wasn't quite mine, and the moment I understood that the exhaustion had a name it became possible, for the first time, to do something about it - Silicon Canals

Exhaustion often stems from emotional labor and the effort to maintain a false persona rather than physical demands of work.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

People who go quiet when they're hurt instead of raising their voice learned somewhere very early that their anger wasn't received as information. It was received as an inconvenience. So they stopped sending the signal and started absorbing the damage, and they've been doing it so long they sometimes mistake silence for calm - Silicon Canals

Silence during conflict often indicates deeper emotional pain rather than composure or passive aggression.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
5 days ago

Nobody prepares you for the hardest lesson of your 50s - that some of the people you sacrificed for genuinely don't remember what you gave up, and it's not cruelty, it's just the way memory works when you were never the main character in their story - Silicon Canals

Sacrifices made for others often go unremembered, as people focus on their own narratives and experiences.
#suicide
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

Caring for the Part of You That Wants to Die

Suicide ideation affects 15.6% of U.S. adults, with significant risk factors including mental disorders, trauma, and social circumstances.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
5 days ago

Caring for the Part of You That Wants to Die

Suicide ideation affects 15.6% of U.S. adults, with significant risk factors including mental disorders, trauma, and social circumstances.
Psychology
fromPsychology Today
6 days ago

Still Waiting to Hear "You Were Right"?

The desire for validation stems from past neglect and devaluation, creating a painful emotional wound that seeks recognition and worth.
Relationships
fromPsychology Today
4 weeks ago

Who Will You Call When the Worst Happens?

Intentionally cultivating and maintaining friendships is essential because you cannot predict when you will urgently need someone to rely on.
Philosophy
fromThe Conversation
2 months ago

The hidden power of grief rituals

Funeral rituals mobilize substantial resources and communal participation, creating intense shared grief and strong social bonds across personal and national communities.
fromDeconstructing Yourself
1 month ago

Stay with the Grief

Today I saw images of students leaving their school with their hands raised in the air, hours after cowering in fear and terror in barricaded classrooms. Nine dead and twenty-seven wounded in the tiny Rocky Mountain town of Tumbler Ridge. The mayor, Darryl Krakowka, said, "I have lived here for 18 years. I probably know every one of the victims." And this in Canada, which often seems to us Americans like a bastion of sanity and normalcy in comparison with our madness.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

I'm 44 and I haven't cried since my father's funeral three years ago - not because I've healed but because somewhere between the eulogy and the drive home my body decided that was the last time and I've been waiting ever since for the next wave to come and it just won't and the numbness is worse than the grief ever was - Silicon Canals

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes in 'The Body Keeps the Score' that trauma doesn't just live in our minds - it reshapes how our bodies respond to emotion. Sometimes, when we experience significant loss, our nervous system essentially decides that feeling is too dangerous and shuts down the whole operation.
Mental health
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks ago

Psychologists explain that the grief of not having children doesn't follow the stages people expect because there is no single loss to process. It's a recurring absence that resurfaces at every milestone, every holiday, every quiet evening, and the pain isn't that it keeps happening once but that it keeps happening in new forms for the rest of your life. - Silicon Canals

Grief from childlessness is a unique, ongoing loss without a single event or clear moment of acceptance, manifesting through countless ordinary moments that unexpectedly trigger profound emotional weight.
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
1 month ago

What to Expect When You're Expecting to Cry Forever

Grief from losing a child to suicide is a lifelong process requiring active work, not passive healing, with pain gradually lessening over years rather than resolving completely.
#ambiguous-loss
fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago
Mental health

Psychologists say the reason watching your parents age feels so disorienting isn't just grief - it's something called ambiguous loss and most people experience it without ever having a name for it - Silicon Canals

fromSilicon Canals
1 month ago
Mental health

Psychologists say the reason watching your parents age feels so disorienting isn't just grief - it's something called ambiguous loss and most people experience it without ever having a name for it - Silicon Canals

fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

Why the Grief Ripples So Deeply When an Advocate Dies

'They're dead.' In disbelief, my response was unfiltered. 'What?' Followed by the F word. A wave of emotion rushed through me. My chest tightened. My body went cold. I could not immediately find the words to offer condolences, not because I did not feel them deeply, but because inside, my many parts were experiencing a collective shock. When you live with dissociative identity disorder (DID), news like this does not land in one place. It ricochets across all parts within.
Mental health
fromSlate Magazine
2 months ago

Overcoming Grief Through Ritual

When we think of rituals, we tend to think of face masks and wellness trends. But there are actually ways to use rituals to help heal grief and deal with stressful times. On this episode, Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen are joined by ritual expert Betty Ray to talk about creative ways to help children process grief and big emotions, how to use ritual to create safety and expression, and much more.
Mental health
Mental health
fromPsychology Today
2 months ago

An "Awkward Grief" for Her Half-Brother-in Life and in Death

Disenfranchised grief arises when family estrangement and unresolved relationships cause mourning for an absent or imagined relationship rather than shared memories.
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